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| You can have a happy and God fearing relationship |
This is the most controversial subject and very few have tried to address this. I stand to be corrected but I believe and know that it is possible to have a close love relationship between a Christian boy and girl without falling into the sexual sin. Many people have different opinions and different understanding of this issue and I am not here to mess your theology or religion but I want to help another person out there to stand victorious. Many Christian marriages look great with expensive weddings and promises but soon afterwards they start experiencing regrets due to issues arising between the couple, unfortunately, in our faith, divorce is not an option.
Meeting the right person is beyond a mere
dream/vision or an outward outlook of how great he/she looks or ministers in the choir or media department or ushering department. From the many happy and unhappy couples I have talked to about this subject, they all refer to this subject saying, you better marry someone who will be your best friend for life than meet someone today and in six months you are tying the knot. I don’t want to say that everyone who hurriedly gets married lives miserable but majority make discoveries of a totally different person inside their partner a few months into their marriage and by then it is too late to pull back.
You are better of losing a relationship than losing your marriage. Only time can reveal the hidden secrets inside your sweetheart’s heart. Having a long relationship between the time you meet and the time you make your vows helps you understand him/her better and helps you decide whether you are going to live with his/her weaknesses or not. But being in such a relationship when young sets you up as a target for the devil. Being a Christian you need to keep the faith and testimony. It is possible to maintain your integrity and testimony through this time. Don’t treat it as an experimentation season but as a relationship that will end up in marriage; we don’t experiment as Christians. I suggest you start out as friends before starting a committed relationship.There are a few things that will help you stand;
Be answerable to someone mature you respect – Let someone like your pastor or someone you respect who is born again, married and happy in their marriage know about you two. This will help you to keep boundaries as you are answerable to someone.
Focus on the future – Don’t seek to satisfy your ‘now’, focus on the future, your relationship is not about now, it is in the ‘now’ but it is about the future.
Have a fixed timeline– Know how long you are going to stay before you settle down, a year 2, or 3 or by when you will be settling down. This gives you a date to look forward to and be strong when you are weak or tired of waiting.
Choose to be the strong/sober one in the relationship – choose to be the stronger and sober one in all situations. It is not that you are stronger than him/her but choose to be the one that will help keep the bounds when he/she is losing it. Be alert and cautious.
Surrender all to God– there is no better hands that can take care of you better than God’s hands. What you give to him, he takes care of it, and when he sees that you desire to stay faithful to your faith til marriage, he will help you stand strong.Avoid arousing romance – One thing always leads to the other. Try your level best to avoid romance. Live like friends. There is no safe romance; one thing will lead to the other and then the other until you are overtaken by the lusts of flesh. Live like friends, do everything else together but leave caressing, deep kissing, “sexting” [a way of having verbal sex on phone or sms] and the sorts alone.
Have fellowship with God and other close friends – Spend time with close friends together and above all have fellowship with God together. Pray together and study the word together. Avoid tempting places and chats.
In all your ways acknowledge the Lord and he shall make straight your paths.
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